Day 16
I saw a quote that said, “A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.” -Mary Karr
I couldn’t help but chuckle. Let’s be honest, to some extent, there’s a lot of truth in that statement. Everyone experiences some sort of dysfunction or family dynamic that is…ummm…how shall I put it?…not normal. But what isn’t normal to you, could be totally normal for your spouse. And vice versa. Unfortunately, we can sometimes carry our dysfunction around like that suitcase I still haven’t unpacked from the beach. It lingers. We know it needs to be dealt with and put away. If you grew up in a house full of dysfunction, it’s hard to unlearn it or call it for what it is because you are so used to life just being that way. What we may have experienced within our families growing up, was not our fault. But healing is our responsibility.
If we aren’t careful the enemy can keep us caught up at the intersection of dysfunction junction. Unpacking our trauma can be a heavy task but it needs to be done. We don’t want to bleed on people who didn’t cut us. You might think the Bible is void of dysfunctional families, but you are oh so wrong. From Adam and Eve, to Cain and Abel, Abraham and Sarah and yes even David. David had Bathsheba’s husband killed. The list goes on and on. There were love triangles, back stabbing, lies, addictions, rapes and murders. There were evil plots, schemes and betrayal. Even the facts surrounding Jesus’ birth was hard for a small town to comprehend and thought there was a scandal. It had to be hard growing up knowing your family was the subject of such mockery. A baby born from a virgin…I don’t know about you but my dad wouldn’t have gone for that explanation either!
The unsettling part isn’t that we have family dysfunction in our past. The unsettling part is that we choose to continue to carry it around and operate from it today. We bleed onto our spouses, family, friends and children. And we make those who love us the most, settle for the excuse, “this is just the way I am.” I say, we need to trade the “just the way I am” for the “great I Am.” Jesus didn’t die for us to stay the same! Allow God to deal with the generational bleeding once and for all.
Prayer Prompts
Pray that if your husband has any family dysfunction that he either deals with or carries around, that God would start to work on that specific area for him.
“And he called them to him and said to them in parables, “How can Satan cast out Satan? 24 If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. 25 And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.” Mark 3:23-25
Lord, next to you my family is my number one priority. There are things within our upbringing that still carry weight on our hearts today. Lord, help us deal with those hard areas. Help my husband truly heal and move forward from the weight of his family dysfunction. I pray that he does not identify with the sin caused by his family.
Pray that both you and your husband would unpack the dysfunction and start to process it in healthy ways.
Lord, we have put off dealing with a lot of issues that still linger today from our family. I know that what we don’t deal with today, will be what our kids have to deal with in their lifetime to come. Lord, it’s hard! I still carry so much hurt, anger, disappointment, resentment, and emotional scars from it. I want to heal all those areas of my life. I know I can’t undo the past but I want a better future for me and my husband. I’m crying out to you today for help. I don’t want the enemy to have any more ground in my life over these areas. I need you to help me conquer them.
Pray over the things your husband has a hard time speaking about from his past.
“Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” Jeremiah 33:3
Lord, I know words are powerful. Words can bring healing and hurt. I pray that in my husbands quite moments he would talk to you about all the things that he can’t speak to me about. I pray he’s able to identify the areas of his life that still cause him so much pain and together you would help him heal. Show him areas of his life that he assumed responsibility as a child that he carries as an adult and help him relinquish that responsibility to start his healing.
Challenge
Encourage your man to go to mens group tonight at the church! If you don’t go to our church but your church doesn’t have a mens group on Monday nights, tell him about the one at Sanctuary and tell him he should give it a try 🙂